Wait

One of the hardest things I think for people to to do is wait. As a society we are bombarded with phrases like "quick fix", "fast food", "time-saver" and "immediate results" to entice us. Anything to get the job done faster is better. Anything that makes life easier is a necessity. Buy our tickets ahead of time - why would we ever want to wait in line?! Call ahead. Go online. Pre-order it. Have it delivered to you. Rush-order. Get it fast. Get it first. Get it now.

Why wait?

Who wants to wait?

You deserve what you want, when you want it. If you have to wait too long - your meal should be free. Unhappy with the service? You deserve a store-credit. A complimentary gift card. Lots of apologies. "Thank you for waiting - you're call is important to us. Please hold." How dare they put me on hold again! Nothing infuriates us and puts us on edge more than those words "please continue to hold". Except maybe waiting in traffic. Waiting at a red-light. Waiting for customer service. Waiting for the the slowest person ever to get out of the bathroom! Why does this store only have 1 stall?! Who only has 1 stall?!

Waiting makes us use words like "ridiculous" and "unheard of" as we pace, tap, stomp, sigh and roll our eyes.

Blood pressure rising.

Tempers flaring.

Patience depleting.

Heart racing.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

And if I am honest, I will say it too - I hate waiting.

Waiting in line to buy groceries or waiting to talk to the doctor on the phone is annoying sometimes. But that's not the hardest kind of waiting. It's not that big of a deal to wait 30 minutes at the pharmacy. Ideal? No. But those are the things I need keep perspective about. Those are the things that will get done in due time - and I won't be deeply affected because of it.

But waiting for God's plan.

Waiting for an answered prayer.

Waiting for some direction.

Waiting for this little boy to find a family.

That is the waiting I can't wrap my mind around.

That is the waiting that hurts my heart and messes with my head and lays like a heavy rock on my chest. That is the waiting that makes it hard to breath sometimes. Hard to think. Hard to sleep.

That is the waiting that makes me feel so unworthy of the blessings I have - when so many are in need.

That is the waiting that makes me feel helpless. And I don't like feeling helpless. Boy do we mother's hate that.

But that is the waiting that makes me blink back tears and look up to God and say "I just don't know what You want me to do now. I just don't know if I'm doing it right...or doing enough. I just don't know why I still feel lost. I just...don't...know."

And isn't that worse than waiting sometimes?

When you know what you are waiting for - it is hard to wait.

But when you don't know what you're waiting for - it's kind of overwhelming.

It's like those time when you are so confused you don't even know how to ask for help. Or so hurt you don't know what could help. Or what to pray for.

Those times you just don't know what to say or if you should say anything at all.

Aren't those the most difficult?

For someone who likes to talk - and usually has a pretty good handle on what she wants (or thinks she wants) - it's such a strange feeling to experience. And over the past 2 and half weeks I've gone from emotionally touched, to passionately active, to emotionally distraught, and now...almost numb. Numb is the best way I can describe it. And I don't know why. Writing this now I feel myself slowing coming out of it - regaining feeling - but when I think "okay, now what?!" the numbness starts to creep in again. I've asked myself -what is going on here? Why do I feel as if I'm shutting down? Am I just too weak - to drained by the recent swell of emotions I've experienced - and I'm giving up? Or is this God's way of calming the tempest of tears and desperate prayers that borderline impatience, and giving me a rest?

I tend to believe the latter.

I know how much God loves me. And I know He is there for all of His children - there to give them what they need when they themselves don't know what that is. And I know I have prayed for patience. And I have prayed for guidance. And I have cried and begged for help. Help me have faith. Help me be content with waiting on You, Lord. Help me stop crying and trust You.

And now I find myself not crying, not hysterical, not hurting, not frantically emailing and asking and talking and thinking.

And I find myself waiting.

And somewhat at peace just to wait.

And here I am... questioning it!?

Ha!

Writing it down and seeing what is going on actually makes me LAUGH! Did I not ask for help? Did I not ask for Him to teach me to wait? And now that's all I can do - is wait - and I'm upset again?! Oh how God must look at me with a knowing smile and shake His head. Just like when Jet frantically reaches for me then turns around and goes right back to his Daddy. He got what he wanted then changed his mind. :) Are we not just like immature children who ask for one thing then promptly forget and complain about what we were given. But it's such a natural tendency. And it is so easy to be blinded by our earthy knowledge and confused by the spiritual.

I have felt such a roller coaster of emotions over little Shea.

Wanting to help him. Wondering if we could be the family for him. Excited at the possibility. Deciding to wait and pray about it. Heartsick at not being in the position to commit to adopting Shea right now. Anxious about his future. Grateful for the success of his fundraisers. Impatient at still waiting. Praying God would show us the way. Meeting another family who was willing and ready to ADOPT Shea! Fighting the feelings of "hey - I saw him first" and realizing God's hand in this beautiful family coming for Shea. At peace and rejoicing when they started the adoption process. Ecstatic that they lived nearby! In awe that I would be so close to Shea and his new family. Praising God for His wisdom. Confused and panic-stricken when they were denied. Heartbroken for them. Renewed sadness for Shea. Wondering again what our role in this should be. Scared that we weren't seeing God's plan clearly. Contemplating how (again) we might be Shea's family. Hearing that several other inquiries have been made about Shea from interested families. Not sure how to feel - excited? Pressured? Thankful?

And everyone knows - I hate roller coasters.

They make me sick.

They really do scare me.

They are not fun in the least.

I never want to ride one again - ever.

But I'm sure this is not the end of this particular roller coaster. And as much as I might beg to get off of it - once you are on it, there's no getting off of it until it's finished.

So in the mean time, I'll do what I've always done when riding on roller coasters.

I'll close my eyes.

Hold on tight.

Say a prayer.

And wait.

A Call to Prayer

There is a LONG story to come called "A family for Shea". It's just the beautiful beginning of an even longer story I'm sure, but it's about an amazing family and the unexpected way God has brought us together over a little boy named Shea. :) There is a family interested in adopting Shea (who have to remain anonymous at this point because of legal reasons) but I met with the mother this past Saturday and it was wonderful. (Yes - can you believe they live close by!?) They still have a long way to go - and will need all the financial help we can give them to bring Shea home - so YES we are continuing our fundraising efforts! I can't wait to tell you all about it - but at this point in time I strangely just don't have the words. I am in need of some recovery time - physically, emotionally and mentally - so that story will just have to wait a little longer.

But in the mean time - please continue to pray with me.

And in your prayers - praise God for His love and wisdom in bringing all of this about in only 2 weeks! Thank Him for allowing us to work in His plan for Shea. Pray for strength and courage for this family and the new journey they are embarking on. Pray for comfort and love to rest upon Shea every day - protecting him until he can be united with his family. And please pray for peace and renewal on our family - that we may continue to serve and trust God's plan.

As I said - it is only the beginning.

But with God as the Beginning and the End -

I am already looking ahead at a happy ending. :)

Thank you all.

Donation Gift Cards

Do you have someone on your Chistmas list that has everything?

You know, that person that you always end up buying a random gift card for?

Or maybe you want to slip in an extra $5 bit of love to a gift you've already purchased?

Why not make a donation to a little boy who needs it? Donate to Shea's Adoption Grant in the name of a friend or family member and give the gift of love. Two gifts for the price of one - a gift for Shea and his future family, and the gift of them knowing this little boy has a better chance at finding his family because of them.

And check out our new donation card!

Isn't it adorable?!

(Thanks Laura! You're amazing!)

*Click HERE to view and print the pdf. file.

(you will need acrobat to view the card. Just right click on the image and select "print" or "save" to your computer.)

They pring 4x6 and 2 to a page. :)

Tuck them into stockings!

Slip one into a tiny pouch or wallet!

Roll one up into a mug!

Instead of a $25 gift card, buy a $20 one and add a $5 Saving Shea tag!

Share the joy of this journey with your family and friends this holiday season and all year long!

*Want the card but can't print it? Send me an email and we will work something out.

I got the idea for Shea's cards from another blog and little boy like Shea named Cliff. Please take a minute to read his story and maybe give a little love to him as well. :)

Sessions for Shea

Do you need an updated family photo? Maybe the last pictures your family had taken would leave people guessing "who is this family?" or saying "wow is her hair big!" Or maybe you want pictures for Holiday/New Years Cards? It's not too late! If you live in (or will be visiting) the Atlanta area this holiday season - I am promoting a special fundraiser for Shea's Adoption Grant. You have the opportunity to "give a little - get a little" for a really amazing cause.

(click here for details)

This Saturday Dec. 11th I will be hosting the first Sessions for Shea event

Grab your sister, spouse, best friends or entire family!

These pics could be a great gift for someone you love or just a fun way to support a little boy who needs you.

This Saturday December 11th

In Downtown Acworth

from 11:00am-12:30pm (weather permitting)

Because it is FREEZING dress warmly!

Sign up for one of four available 20min mini sessions!

11-11:20

11:20-11:40

11:40-12

12- 12:20

If you want to sign up for a session- email me the time slot of your choice at pennymom09@gmail.com and I will let you know if it's still available and tell you where to meet me. :)

Before booking your session, please check out the Sessions for Shea: A Local Effort page at the top of the blog for more details. :)

Shop and Support

First of all, we are overwhelmed by the selfless love, amazing generosity and heartfelt support we have received since beginning our journey - Saving Shea. It has only been 2 days and we have already reached 1% of our exponential goal of 25,000 for Shea's adoption grant. The outpouring of messages and offers to help have lifted our spirits and strengthened our efforts even more.

Thank you all.

For every note, every shared link, every donation - they all mean so, so much. Don't stop - keep sharing Shea's story - keep raising awareness! I had no idea the kinds of feelings this would stir in the hearts of our friends, families, and total strangers! People who I have never spoken to or knew by name or shared circumstance only are right up there with my best and closest friends - donating money to a little boy they didn't know a week ago...a day ago. People are talking about Shea! Families are talking about adoption! Adoption of children just like Shea with special needs! Amazing! What beautiful hearts. God has let me know we are not alone. And that is a wonderful, humbling, awe-inspiring feeling. That there are others who are eager to help, hurting for Shea, and passionate about making a difference. It is magnificent. We need you so much. Please stay with us! You are making a difference. And we are so, so thankful for you.

One of these amazing people I am speaking of is the wonderfully talented Kari - unique designer, inspiring mother, and true friend. Kari is a fellow SB mommy who, when she learned of our effort to help Shea, immediatly contacted me with an idea - a way to help. And here it is.

These bracelets were designed by Kari especially for Shea and are for sale on her website www.urbanupcycling.blogspot.com

They are one-of-a-kind and in my opinion - a perfect gift for this holiday season.

Each bracelet is $10.

$5 from each bracelet she sells will go to Shea's Adoption Grant.

They cost $5 to make.

You do the math. ;)

Okay - I hate math too. I'll give you a hint.

That's 100% of the proceeds!

She is not making any money doing this - she is donating her time and effort to help Shea.

It warms my heart and soul to know her.

So check it out! Visit UrbanUpcycling and buy your bracelets today!

I have added this information as well to our Shop and Support tab at the top of the page. Another fundraiser my family is working on is coming together soon and will be added shortly - so check back! If you have an idea or a product that you would like to donate a portion of the proceeds to Shea's Adoption Grant - please contact me and I will add you!

Saving Shea: The Rainbow

You know those moments in your life when you feel time stop.

Whether it be that split-second when you thought that car was going to hit you.

Or the minutes you hold your breath before the doctor says "everything looks fine."

The moment that follows when you first see the ring in his hand.

And that first glimpse that you get of your newborn baby's face.

We all have them.

They can be terrifying or exciting.

The scariest or most beautiful thing you've ever experienced.

But whatever the emotion - you're shaken.

Whatever the outcome - you're changed.

And you know it was important.

And however long the moment actually lasted - you can remember how you felt at that exact moment...forever.

This is one of those moments for me.

The past 3 days all combined together in one, big, all-encompassing moment that just keeps going on and on.

And it all started when I saw his face.

This is Shea.

Shea - isn't that a beautiful name?

A beautiful name to match his soulful eyes and cropped, blonde hair.

I'm not sure how I found him. Just one of those series of events where you're reading a familiar blog, that leads you to another new and exciting blog, that tells you a story, that leads you to a rainbow, and at the end of that rainbow ...is something very special.

And 3 days ago, at the end of a beautiful rainbow - I found Shea.

And once I found him - I realized it wasn't just some series of events.

I was brought there.

My family was brought there.

And though I'm am still asking and praying and waiting to know exactly why we were brought there -

But there is one thing I am sure of.

Shea needs us.

And we are going to save him.

You may ask..why does Shea need saving?

Well, when I found Shea, I didn't just find a picture - I found a few sentences underneath the picture.

Boy, Born October 17, 2006

Shea only became cleared for adoption very recently, so we are so hopeful he will find a family quickly. He is facing the institution very soon because of his age.

From his medical records: primary hydrocephaly, shunt dependent (has one in now), disorder of function of pelvic organs, paralytic clubfoot of both feet, spina bifida. Very good and smart boy. He can speak very well, he can only sit - he is in plaster cast so he cannot stand and walk.

Shea will remain bedridden the rest of his life once he is transferred.

That's right.

Shea is an orphan.

An orphan who is 4 years old.

An orphan facing an institution in Eastern Europe.

An orphan born with Spina Bifida.

Do you see now why Shea needs saving? I'm sure it's not hard to guess why this little angel has grabbed a hold of my heart and won't let go -so closely connected to the story of my own sweet little angel. It's probably not a mystery as to why David and I have stayed up late for 3 days talking about what to do...what this means to our family...how we can save him. And like I said, I don't have all the answers right now - but I did contact the people at Reece's Rainbow and we signed up to be Prayer Warriorsfor Shea as well as volunteered to help raise money for his adoption grant. There is no obligation from Reece's Rainbow - they don't call you up or keep tabs on your efforts. It is all up to the individual. It was up to me to contact them - and it is up to us how much we help. On the right margin of the blog you will see a "chipin" link allowing anyone and everyone to donate toward Shea in his journey finding his family. As you can see on the "chipin" link - Shea's funds are nothing. He has nothing. And adoption in Shea's country is 25,000 dollars on average. This is where we need your help.

Please.

You can help us save him.

The woman who inadvertently led me to Shea, is hosting a fundraiser for another little baby named Cliff. In her plead for help she expressed perfectly what I would say to you about Shea.

Please read it here.

It is exactly what I want to say.

Hopefully soon I will have a blog button to display our mission for Shea and link back to this post. When I do, I would be so grateful if my fellow bloggers would add it to their as well.

If you don't blog, please copy and paste the link to this post (in the web address bar above) on facebook or copy the post itself to an email. We need as many helpers as we can get to raise enough funds to make it possible for Shea to be adopted as soon as possible. He needs money. Any amount you can give is enough. It will make a difference. We can't be sure how long he has before he will be forced to leave the orphanage and be committed to an institution and far from any help.

And please, pray for us.

Pray that God will continue to guide us and use our family for His glory.

Pray that His will for will be done for Shea and that He will keep Shea safe until he is able to be adopted.

Pray that Shea will be given healing and strength and peace every day, and feel God's love upon him.

Thank you so much, and may God bless you.

- David, Joanna and Jet